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In the Classroom

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State of Grace Documents work exceptionally well in a classroom setting with kids of any age. Imagine two kids start fighting on the playground. Instead of sending them to detention, you have them sit down to go over the classroom or school State of Grace Document Questions until they are back in a peaceful state.

Here's how we explained it to the kids:

Use the blackboard or put up a few large sheets of white poster paper on the wall. Draw a line down the middle of the first sheet. Title one side: “This feels like a good thing.” And the other side: “This doesn’t feel so good.”

Tell them that the whole class is going to talk about things that feel good in our lives and things that don't feel so good. And once we all agree on the difference, we're going to come up with a way to make sure that even when things happen that don't feel so good, we can turn them into something that does.

Next throw out a series of examples and have the kids tell you which side of the list they belong on.

Things like:

• When you fight with your brother or sister
• When your dad gets angry with you
• When someone shares their toy with you
• When your teacher thanks you for helping
• When you hug your best friend
• When someone takes something away from you without asking

Have them offer other examples. After they call out where each example goes on the list, talk about the feelings that come up for each side. Ask them if they would like to make something together that helps them get back to the good side more often.

Tell them that the bad feeling stuff will always happen every now and then, but we can do things to make sure it lasts a shorter amount of time. They need to know they each have the power to make themselves and others feel better, so they don't always have to ask an adult to intervene.

Once they agree to create something to help make things better, introduce the word grace and ask them what they think it means. Help them with terms like peace, joy and love.

At first we thought maybe we should change the "state of" part of "state of grace," but we thought it was good to teach them the whole term. They got it. Especially since there’s a popular television show on now called “State of Grace” about these two little girls.

Once they've agreed they like feeling good with other people and they want to make sure that happens as often as possible, tell them about the State of Grace Document. Tell them the first part is a story about all the good things they see in their class and each other.

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Make a heading:
The Story of Us

Have them call out what they like about each other and their teacher(s) and list it on the board. Then describe the importance of always having it handy to remember what they love about each other.

Make a heading:
Warning Signs: This Is What I’m Like When I’m Starting to Feel
Out of a State of Grace (When I’m Afraid or Upset)
This Is When I Need the Most Love…

Have them call out ways that they behave or ways people will know they’re not feeling sad, frustrated or hurt. List those on the board.

Make a heading:
Questions to Help Us Feel Better

Tell them about the list of questions that will help them get back to feeling better when things are tough. Maybe you can give them an example of a situation that's happened in class. Derive sample questions based on that so they can understand what we mean. Explain the concept of coming up with the way to fix things ahead of time, because when we're upset or angry, it's harder to know what to do.

Write the questions on the board as well.

Talk about how this State of Grace Document is something we've all created and will promise to use if we ever feel that something doesn't feel so good at school. It might be between someone and their friend or a student and teacher or anyone else who is part of the school.

When the document is done, create a large version of it to hang on the wall. Paint it, decorate it, put their handprints on it if you like. And periodically the class can go back and talk about how it's been working and whether or not it needs to be added to or changed.

It’s interesting to refer to the document when the class reads a story that has a difficult situation in it. They can talk about how the characters might have done something different if they had used a State of Grace Document, etc.

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